We did NOT bid on this

. . . Though it was modeled by a particularly fetching dancer from Key West Burlesque, which our electrician's wife, Kyla, joins on some occasions that need her particular bump.

(A columnist for our newspaper, the Citizen, once devoted an entire week's essay to Kyla's backside, which I admit outdoes this one by several mile markers -- but I digress, thinking of bouncing quarters.)

What we did get at the Aqua costume auction to support Stacy for Queen was the acquaintance of a costume-maker and milliner in town, who made this and was at the event to fluff lace and drum up business. I will be talking with her about a Carmen Miranda hat.

And, considering that it all benefits AIDS Help, we also got: A stunning blond-red wedge-cut wig, from Queen Ginger; a silk brocade dressing gown, with high collar and wildly flared hem, that I am determined to cut down to my size; a devil-in-a-red-skirt costume, complete with horns; and some matching red pumps, from Queen Fizz, which at size 14 (women's) fit Robert pretty well indeed.