Miles to go

Gassy Winds (that's her stage name anyway) had painted and decorated a brand-new one-speed Schwinn for the Markeys' auction Sunday night, bedecked with smileys, and Robert -- well-oiled from Gay Bingo -- was bound and determined to have it.

Gassy donated her electric-yellow wig, to match the stickers all over it (fenders, carry-box, cup-holder, mirrors, horn and padded seat, for two smiles under one) and made sure the rain poncho, bike lock and bungees were compatible yellow-and-black. The Markeys threw in shirts, buttons and stuff.

As Robert got on it for the short roll home from Aqua, we found the only thing it really lacked was any air in the tires.

So now with pump, plus headlight and taillight, we're set. Perfect for rolling up to crime scenes, if you want to match the tape.

Today I took it on a shakedown cruise to the White Street Pier and then around to the Southernmost Point without killing myself or busting a muscle, though it's been a long time since my last ride.

And Robert took our rusty clunkers, which haven't been operable for a few years (one was even missing a chain), for "recycling" at the corner. Sure enough, they were snatched away in 5 minutes.