Quite the tea party

I'm not sad about today's HARC workshop. I'm not upset. I'm not angry. I am well and truly pissed off.

Let me get the good news, and the thanks, out of the way first.

Thanks to City Commissioner Clayton Lopez, who attended, signed up to speak about the windows issue -- and, incredibly, was not called on when his turn came. He left assuring me that the City Commission would resolve the problem. I guess the HARC commissioners forgot who appoints them under the law. (As soon as I got home, I filed a formal question with the city about why he wasn't allowed to address HARC. I look forward to the answer.)

Thanks to Christine Russell, who used to work for our architect and would like to replace some of her own windows, for speaking in support of rational guidelines and the costs of insurance.

Thanks to HARC Commissioner Nils Muench, who again sounded warnings against purism.

And really special thanks to the four neighbors from Center Street who took the time from their day to show up, wait their turn and speak in our support, saying that our house has done more to raise their property values than any project in the city.

Now, back to pissed off:

The commissioners openly sneered at City Commissioner Bill Verge's suggestion, in Sunday's story, that it was time for a "kinder, gentler HARC." Ain't gonna happen on their watch. (Did I mention which city body confirms members of the historic commission?)

In fact, one HARC commissioner suggested that perhaps it was time for the historic commission to start regulating interiors, too. (That might be legal -- if the property were a full-blown National Historic Landmark, but I'd urge 'em not to try it unless they want to see pitchforks and torches on Greene Street.)

Another said too many people were planting gardens that obscured their houses. Apparently he hasn't noticed the two mega-historic properties on Caroline just down Ann from Old City Hall that have been obscured by 9-foot ficus hedges for the last century.

And it degenerated from there. One commissioner compared old buildings to the endangered Florida panther, perhaps forgetting that metal windows could eventually be replaced with wooden ones from the building-supply store, but you can't special-order panthers.

None addressed the insurance issue. None addressed severe storm forecasts based on climate change -- though one did make fun of "alarm and hysteria," and another reminded Old Town property owners that they should "seek to appreciate" their old windows.

I've been pretty polite about the whole thing so far, but as of tonight, I've decided to expand the argument by two words: "bloviate" and "tyrannical."