Illustration only. Your results may vary

When the pool guy, Chris, and his plumber, Chip, came by to work on their pipes bright and early today, as scheduled to the minute, they came fully prepared -- even bringing a battered old pump to stand in for the one they'd be putting in later.

With it, and the appropriate valves, they knew to the sixteenth of an inch where everything would have to come up in the equipment slab.

Now Kenny, the air conditioning guy, was the only blank space. I'd called him Monday and yesterday, twice each, and got voice mail. This morning, twice more, and more voice mail. I gave up at noon, and he finally called me when I'd given up and gotten back to the apartment. We agreed to meet at 2.

I was there at 1:30. When he hadn't shown up by 3:30, I got his voice mail again. He called just after 4 to say he was on his way -- big delay at Las Salinas, and his back was hurting. . . .

Just like Gilda Ratner: It's always something.