Sunday funnies

Yep, that's Amerika's Sweetheart down at front-row center, no doubt researching her policy toward Vikings -- which probably is that we shouldn't ever second-guess them, either.

At any rate, tough times like this give wordsmiths a field day -- pros and amateurs alike.

Some of the weekend's best:

"So the Republicans have decided to run against themselves. The bums have tiptoed out the back door and circled around to the front and started yelling, 'Throw the bums out!' . . . It is a bold move on the Republicans' part — forget about the past, it's only history, so write a new narrative and be who you want to be — and if they succeed, I think I might declare myself a 24-year-old virgin named Lance and see what that might lead to." -- Garrison Keillor.

"The economy is in a tailspin. The financial sector is lurching about on rubbery legs. We’re mired in self-defeating energy policies. We’re at war. And we are still vulnerable to the very real threat of international terrorism. With all of that and more being the case, how can it be a good idea to set in motion the possibility that Americans might wake up one morning to find that Sarah Palin is president?" -- Bob Herbert.

Q: I'm sure you've seen all the comparisons in the media and among Republicans of Sarah Palin to Wonder Woman. How do you feel about that? A: "Don’t get me started. She’s the anti-Wonder Woman. She’s judgmental and dictatorial, telling people how they’ve got to live their lives. And a superior religious self-righteousness -- that’s just not what Wonder Woman is about. . . . Worry about your own life! Worry about your own family! Don't be telling me what I want to do with mine." -- Lynda Carter.

"At an Alaska Municipal League gathering in Juneau in January, mayors across the political spectrum swapped stories of the governor’s remoteness. How many of you, someone asked, have tried to meet with her? Every hand went up, recalled Mayor Fred Shields of Haines Borough. And how many met with her? Just a few hands rose. Ms. Palin soon walked in, delivered a few remarks and left for an anti-abortion rally." -- From a long New York Times story on her management style.

"We all expect a certain amount of deceit from people running for office, in the form of fudging, distortion, exaggeration and omission. But the McCain campaign's approach . . .is to normal political attacks what Hurricane Ike is to a drive-through carwash. . . . He has chosen to smear his opponent with ridiculous claims that he thinks the American people are gullible enough to believe. He has charged repeatedly that his opponent is willing to lose a war to win an election. What's McCain willing to lose to become president? Nothing so consequential as a war. Just his soul." -- Steve Chapman.

"If we’ve learned anything from the GOP convention and its aftermath, it’s that the 2008 edition of John McCain is too weak to serve as America’s chief executive. . . .No longer able to remember his principles any better than he can distinguish between Sunnis and Shia, McCain stands revealed as a guy who can be easily rolled by anyone who sells him a plan for “victory,” whether in Iraq or in Michigan." -- Frank Rich.