Migration season

During the days I've been away, I've learned (or rediscovered):

-- That the city is likely to appeal our windows victory to the Circuit Court. The city attorney resolutely avoided returning my calls about the windows decision, but a little bird in City Hall reminded me that the the city -- indeed, any "aggrieved" party, which would include a lot of termite-huggers -- has 30 days to ponder dragging me into court. Which means I'll have to hire a lawyer, start the meter running and re-stock my Maalox supply. This has not improved my mood.

-- The drive from Key West to Tennessee is not improved by the (eternal) road projects in South Georgia. Still, we piled into the car on Saturday morning, and arrived without incident on Sunday afternoon. Tiring.

-- I have not forgotten how to make tiramisu, but I had forgotten just how inaccurate "serves 12" can be, given the audience.

-- My mom is in great shape, for 87, though I now know far more than I care to about her card-playing friends.

-- Driving 15 miles to the grocery is a whole lot less fun than walking 3 blocks, and whizzing by fields is a lot less fun than walking by plumerias.

-- Computers (at least Windows-based computers) that have been turned off for 16 months require about two full days to download software updates.

-- Birds that fly north for a season still have their compasses resolutely pointed south.

Flips, flops

And by these I don't mean the Crocs by the door, next to the conch shell we dug up in the yard last year, though there is symbolism in both of those to spare.

The flips by the door usually mean the owner is home, so ring the bell. The conch at the door is a petition for good fortune (legend here has it that a shell inside the house invites disaster).

No, the flips and flops I mean now are the little whupp sensations that panic brings from time to time, and the fastfast heartbeats in my neck and ears when I put my head on my pillow. I haven't written about it until now because I just didn't know what to say.

When I called to ask about our permanent Certificate of Occupancy, given the ruling in our favor by the Special Master hearing the case, I was referred to the city attorney. The licensing department wouldn't take my call. The Historic Commission wouldn't, either. Talk to the city attorney, they said.

He's been out of town for a family funeral, so perhaps I shouldn't read awful things into the silence (although he has several deputies, and one of them faced me before the magistrate).

But what I fear is that Judge Overby's ruling in our case has raised such a red flag against strict preservationists that the question may not be settled for months, at least.

I did some research into the Municipal Code and found that any person -- or group, or board, or anyone -- who is "aggrieved", may appeal a decision of the Special Master to Circuit Court. Which, I think, will entail us more time, energy and money than I am right now eager to commit. I have appeared on my own behalf until now, but I am reluctant beyond belief to go into court without a lawyer. Start the meter running, with the city pulling the flag.

Thus these few days of silence. Thus my sadness, here on the first day of summer. I just want the damn thing over with. And please let me live in my house.

Small blossom, big show

Ferron, the artist who seems to live like flotsam, pulled his bike into our gate, struggled up to the porch, shot the breeze a bit and finally asked if we could give him a coffee for refreshment.

I felt ashamed for not offering it to him earlier, but we had been talking about his VA clinic experiences, and the like.

He finally looked over the porch railing and noticed the pink mussaenda. I told him the big pink "petals" were actually bracts, and the little yellow things were in fact the flowers.

"Hm," he said.

Like poinsettias and bougainvillea, I said.

"Yes, like that," he said. And he went along on his bicycle.

Bustin' out

This hibiscus pretty much echoed my mood on Friday.

(It's one of two just inside our front fence; the other is on the other side of the gate, and both have been sneaking random disembodied blooms toward the street between the pickets.)

Ronnie, our mailman, slipped the city's letter into our mailbox just before lunch, and I goggled as I read the judge's ruling.

I figured Judge Overby would have ruled in our favor only because the Historic Commission had made it possible with a similar case late last year.

But no. It was bigger than that.

There was me, appellant, v. City of Key West, Florida, a municipal corporation, appellee, and a citation of HARC's action, and then:

"IT IS ADJUDGED: the HARC decision in Case H07-02-02-145 is REVERSED. The application of the Historic Architectural Guidelines adopted by Ordinance by the City of Key West is superseded by the Florida Building Codes Chapter 24, Section 2411, High-Velocity Hurricane Zones. SO ORDERED. . . ."

Holy crap. Of course I'm no lawyer, but that sounds as if HARC has to allow wind-safe windows everywhere, not just on our house -- which, if true, will really bring out the preservationists who rose to whack me down at HARC's April workshop.

One of them -- an architect who used to head HARC -- cited another chapter of the code that stands in full opposition to the section the judge cited. So, will the city be forced to press for resolution from a higher court?

The Citizen wants to interview me -- but I think my first call will be to Carolyn in the Building Department to see if I can get a full, unqualified Certificate of Occupancy in my hot little hands first. Not to mention the 8 grand we posted for a performance bond.

V I C T O R Y !

"This is Debbie from Code Compliance," the voice on the phone said.

Not the city department one usually relishes hearing from, but I said a warm hello, and asked her how she was. I'd only met her once, at my windows appeals hearing before the special magistrate, but she seemed pleasant and helpful.

"Oh, I'm great, thanks," she said, "but you're going to be even better: I wanted to let you know as soon as I could that Judge Overby ruled in your favor."

It took a few seconds to sink in. Do you mean . . . ?

"You won. He overturned HARC's ruling. Your windows are legal. Done. Finished. For good. I'm notifying HARC, the city manager and the city attorney. You'll get the ruling in the mail."

Debbie, I said, it's a good thing I'm not there, because I'd be hugging, kissing and dancing around the room with you.

She giggled, and it isn't often that you can hear somebody blush -- but this was a loud blush. "Oh, it wasn't me; it was Judge Overby."

Then he's lucky I'm not there, too.

Carnivorous intent

I've been testing recipes in the last few days, getting ready for Robert's return from his bridge orgy in Tennessee.

One of them involved duck confit, available cryo-packed at Fausto's. Tough job, but somebody has to eat it.

I ran into Jimmy, the former mayor whose grandfather founded the store, and he noticed the leg/thighs in my basket and sidled into a Q-and-A about broiling, doneness. . . .

He'd never cooked one, though he's sold mant hundreds. I told him about the classic method of getting them ready to store -- slow cook bathed in duck fat, then stored in a basement in the fat for months (it's a great old way to save a season's harvest), and finally crisped under a broiling fire.

On a good day in France, I told him, I wanted to kill a duck a day for livers, breasts, legs, thighs. . . .

Tonight's, I made with fresh garlic cloves (again, thanks, Jimmy), and only four people stopped at the gate to ask what made those wonderful smells.

Marvin's chair

"He was out there every afternoon," said Dennis, from around the corner.

(As opposed to Dennis from up the street, Dennis the electrician, Dennis the tile guy or Dennis the architect.)

He was talking about Marvin, who owned the house before us, and whose chair I've occupied for countless hours on the porch during construction.

"When the sun hit the porch, he'd take it across the street, and sit admiring his house, with a six-pack on the ground next to him."

I expect this is the chair Marvin was sitting in all those times we walked by the house and waved. Blanche, who cleans across the street, mentioned Marvin in his chair more than once, as has Martin, who does ditto.

"Yeah, that thing was here the day we started demolition," said Nate, who dropped in this afternoon to share his gold-toothed smile.

I've always called him Nate, and he's finally transcended his nickname from youth: "Bowleg," because his right leg had a 30-degree bend. I could never bring myself to use that name, as he sweated along with every other worker on the place, grimacing but seldom complaining.

He'd had a half-dozen surgeries on it, from teen years to the recent present, but doctors finally took the bones out and installed rods. He's still recovering on crutches -- but he's also still smiling, and still humbling me whenever I think I have a problem.

It was great to see him again and to show him what his work had gone toward as we went around the house. I was going to ask him to rest his leg on Marvin's chair of honor, to sit out front for a bit and survey the street's reaction to the house, but the sun was on the porch -- and we didn't feel like going across the street to admire the house -- so we settled on a long, cool conversation around the dining-room table.

"This place has some great vibes," Nate said.

I know, I told him. It reflects every bit of the skill, sweat and courage that every worker invested in it.

Spectral island

Remember those light effects from the late-day sun and the chandelier?

One of them added a bit of color to Christine Black's septych this evening.

You suppose there's a pot of gold out there somehow?

Another day in paradise

Things I did yesterday that made me think again that this place is different:

-- I checked out the Pride Festival booths in Duval Street (it was closed from Olivia to Angela) but didn't find much interesting, beyond the big bandstand/float Ferron had helped paint.

-- Dodged a few raindrops, and thought again that this place resembles a sauna with an angry old codger in the corner, splashing water on the hot rocks every time you think you can't stand anything hotter.

-- Thought about taking in a movie at the Tropic, but didn't feel like reading subtitles, and the features were in Danish, French and Hebrew.

-- Picked up a tree saw at Home Depot and spent a while trimming blossom spikes from our new Christmas palms in front, and some browning fronds from our foxtails (in the picture). Learned that botanists discovered foxtails (Wodyetia bifurcata) only in 1983, and named them after Wodyeti, an aboriginal Bushman who led them to the groves.

-- Offered a chair and a glass of wine to a locked-out tourist at the guest cottage across the street. She spied the highboy and studied it closely while I poured the wine. She knew a lot about furniture.

-- Met her traveling buds -- all are friends since college -- and found out that one of them was an architecture writer for the Herald in Miami. We had friends in common, and swapped war stories until we heard the parade starting to pass by.

-- Got my ancient Pride t-shirt out and wandered over to watch the party pass.

-- Came home and sizzled up a duck leg confit, with salad, before falling asleep on the sofa, watching a digital stream of Gandhi.

Not a bad day.

Brimming

It's breaking my heart to let water out of the pool -- we're in a drought and all, and the water we've put in it sure ain't free -- but I don't have much choice when it's ready to breach the banks.

Yesterday, the weather radio went off a dozen times (I counted 'em).

Most of the stuff barely missed us, but the Pride weekend street fair still got doused.

We'll see if Saturday's parade, with one ribbon of rainbow stretching the length of Duval Street, dodges wet bullets.

Fettucine alla Todd

One of the moments in Sweeney Todd that makes the hairs on my arms stand up comes when "the demon barber of Fleet Street," back in London after unjust years in exile, ferrets out his razor case and, brandishing his deadly-glinting blade overhead, exults:

"My arm is whole again!"

I feel that way about my kitchen. With almost a year and a half living with a wet bar and a microwave, and 30 years without a gas cooktop, I wondered whether I still had chops.

I started out with oil in a pan, finding heat levels by toasting stale Cole's Peace ciabatta and making it into garlic rounds.

And tonight, though my edges are far less sharp than Sweeney's, there were garlic cloves, pancetta, fresh sage, heavy cream, Asiago cheese, maybe a glass of Chianti to get the nerve up. . . .

Dice the pancetta, heat the saute pan on medium and let it render without burning. Add minced garlic once the fat has come loose. Reduce heat.

Once the garlic is soft and starting to brown gently at the edges, add plenty of heavy cream, scrape all the beautiful brown spots off the pan and into the liquid, and reduce it by about half over ever-decreasing heat, stirring every so often. The heat should make it form bubbles that don't break, and the reduction should take 20 or 30 or 40 minutes.

Boil water for the fettucine. About a minute before the noodles are done, whisk in two handfuls of good grated cheese (asiago, parmesan, romano -- you choose), some fresh ground pepper, a cup or so of fresh green peas, a few drops of balsamic vinegar and a tablespoon-plus of fresh chopped sage leaves to the reduced cream. Grate some fresh nutmeg on top of all, and stir in.

(Shopping at Fausto's helps at every stage of this process.)

Drain the fettucine, drop into the sauce, toss. Plate and sprinkle with extra ground cheese. Serve with the rest of the chianti.

Richness. Complexity. Depth. Smoothness.

Good to be back.

Gray light

A couple of you asked for a better view of the chandelier -- you probably didn't remember it from our Chicago days -- so here goes.

But neither it nor much else was catching a great deal of light Wednesday. The rain started coming down hard about 5 a.m., was near gale level around noon and tapered into drizzle for the rest of the day.

I'm not sure how much we got, but I do know two things: One, I'm about to let some water out of the pool; and two, the plants are happy.

Sweetness in the spice

Sit on the porch for a minute at dusk and the first thing you notice is the air, heavy as a fat hand in a hot, wet glove, squeezing your body.

The second is much more pleasant: Scents of spice and sweetness, even though our jasmines haven't started to bloom yet.

The piquancy, I think, comes from the Bahama firebush, which gives an Old Spice note. The sweet is . . . well, so sweet. Almost iris, and with no "common" name, hard to remember as Stemmadenia litoralis.

The place it holds had been assigned to a triple palm in the plan by Craig, our landscape architect. But like all architects, he neglected to note the plumbing lines and roots and other artifacts in the real world; so Jon, our landscaper, brought in the Stemma, all 7 feet or so of it. Craug called it a gardenia on steroids -- but gardenias are fleshy, and this is far from.

It's qualified as a rarity, and its only drawback is that it blooms so much that the ground under it is littered with spent flowers. The blossoms themselves have petals delicate as the membranes you peel from Easter eggs. And the buds are too phallic for description.

I'm not sending it back.

Birds in the yard

One great thing about the plants Jon put in for us: If there was a chance they could go in blooming, or about to bloom, he went for it.

Case in point: Both of the birds of paradise next to the parking area, flanking the pink oleander (also in full bloom), have blossoms.

I'll get some better pictures of the full front of the house once the landscapers pick up the last of their haul-away. So far they've taken two tons of fill out of here, plus their own leftover containers, etc.

You gotta make room for the plants somehow.

A thousand points of light

After all the time, energy and money spent on fixtures, what's the most spectacular light in the place?

These days, it's the late-day spectrum show in the dining room: The sun has moved far enough north that the setting rays catch the crystals on the chandelier and spray rainbows everywhere.

They're hard to photograph -- this is the effect on one of the Chinese screen sections, a closet door and the start of the stairwell (right to left), but I think you'll see the effect if you click on the picture to enlarge it.

And I thought the Crystal Room was at LeTeDa.

The remains of the job

The electricians -- it rhymes with "magicians" -- were here early Saturday to close out their job.

They put up the track lighting, and the light on the sapodilla tree at the parking spot -- and then Matt tackled the chandelier, and Dennis played catcher for the weight of the crystal, and then Denny shortened the fan pole upstairs.

It took a couple of hours in all, and when it was done Matt gave me back my house key, the end of the job.

I shook hands with him and Dennis and Steve, their helper, and thanked them for helping to make our house a home.

They are the sort of people who could keep your house key forever, and you would be the luckier for it, bless them.

Right on time

June 1 marks the start of storm season -- and my first chance to learn exactly how noisy our tin roofs are.

Smiles on the street

"You've got some great neighbors," said Jon, the landscaper, whose guys were just finishing up the gravel paths and mulch.

Two old black ladies had just passed, pausing to compliment him on his work. I guess the pair of twinned Christmas palms had caught their attention -- or maybe it was the ground orchids inside the fence, on either side of the porch.

It happened all day as the drizzle came and went: The old Cuban guy on the bike, who waved and gave a big thumbs-up, Skip from Duval House, John from the guest house across the street, Steve from the laundromat, Barbara from a couple houses up across the street. . . .

Everyone had something nice to say about the house's new face.

Ferron, the guy who makes tiny Conch cottages, biked up late in the afternoon to sit and rest on the porch, talk about the weather and tell me about the show he had hanging at the Key West Art Center, near Mallory. "This is a true Key West porch," he said, watching the lazy traffic.

"Nice trees," he said in his understated way, and I took it as a huge compliment.

Sweaty palms

When Jon pulled up with the four big palms Wednesday morning -- actually, two twin Christmas palms -- it was clear that their giant root balls weren't going behind the fence, where they belong, without some adjustment.

So we removed the two sections of fence on either side of the gate.

Sounds easy, if you leave out the giant rocks that kept getting in our way excavating the knee-deep holes.

Their jackhammer finally prevailed -- but I still felt as jittery as if I were running it. That's because Wednesday was also my court appeal date on the window issue.

Our lawyer, the sweet and brilliant Wayne, was in court on a separate matter, but stood at my side as I made my case to Judge J. Jefferson Overby. The city lawyer made his points, but without much vigor.

And despite my trembles and sweats, the judge was uncharacteristically kind: He agreed to consider the case afresh, weigh the facts and get back to me with a decision. He could veto the windows, approve them or kick the case back to the Historic Commission -- but at least he didn't rule against me outright.

"You can be cautiously optimistic," Wayne said after court.

Dum spiro, spero, I told him -- but his Latin wasn't great, so I had to translate:

While there's breath, there's hope.

Blessings

One of the first things I wanted to do when we got in -- really in, without a ton of ladders and ham- mers -- was to hang the hamsa Lou sent.

It's an ancient symbol of blessing, used by Arabs and Jews alike, and stretching beyond both of them into the mists of time and belief.

This one is inscribed with a Hebrew blessing, asking for peace and joy in the house.

And sure enough, a blessing rang the doorbell Monday morning: Arnold, back for a Key West visit.

I showed him around the place -- changed a bit since his last time here -- and neither of us could stop smiling.

A few hours later, it was even better. Arnold brought Mr. B back for a quick tour, and Brantley kept saying what I think a million times a day: "It's beautiful!"

We're in

Finally, on Thursday, Durwood came by early to inspect the gas shutoff -- and within an hour, Carolyn called me from the Building Department to say that our Certificate of Occupancy was ready.

It's conditional, expiring in October, and I had to post a huge bond to cover tearing out the windows, but . . . I'll take even partial victory. I picked it up, made a quick run to the apartment for some things I'd need to spend the night at the house, stopped at Fausto's for a bottle of champagne (ex-Mayor Jimmy hugged me on hearing the news) and went home -- how sweet those words are, at long last -- for a victory dance.

The landscapers were putting in even more of their spectacular wares -- lady palms, foxtail palms, dwarf Madagascar date palms; and I'd post more shots of the garden progress, but our order for a DSL modem fell somewhere in the crack between the old BellSouth and the new AT&T, so I'm typing from a dialup line in the upstairs bedroom, crosslegged on the big bamboo bed.

But typing with a smile.

There was another victory dance when Waste Management hauled off the outhouse, after about the 12th call. We closed the day with martinis at Mangoes, where Franko Richmond was playing piano brilliantly as ever.

Friday I had early coffee on the porch, and then we met with the alarms guy, changed our voter registration, changed our postal address, changed our driver's licenses and had a little meeting with the lawyer, who said he'd be there with me Wednesday when the magistrate hears our appeal on the windows.

As you can imagine, there's lots to do to shut the apartment down and get the house fully arranged. I'll post more when I can.

We didn't pass gas

Durwood, the plumbing inspector who also does gas lines (I guess because it's all pipes) was there just after I got to the house Wednesday morning.

It was our last bit of inspection before a Certificate of Occupancy, and the propane folks had already been here around 7 a.m. to hook up their gauges to show there were no leaks in the line.

Perhaps fine for you and me, but not for the Building Code here. Durwood said we had to have an emergency cutoff near the cooktop -- not, as I suggested, a turn of the valve at the top of Suburban's propane tank. He said Suburban forbade that, and he'd come back when we were ready.

I called Suburban, as you might imagine, and they sent out Adrian, who called another helper and said that if we had any sense we should turn off the tank valve if need be, and took the cooktop apart and found his predecessor had installed the emergency cutoff under floor level and deep inside the cabinet. So he put in a new cutoff, and we figured out where it would hit inside the island cabinets, and I called Matt, the electrician, to borrow his zip-cut tool so I could carve out a big, honking access hole.

Matt arrived just after inspectors' hours were over, and we cut through until we found the cutoff, and I called the inspection in yet again. It's probably Thursday.

During the day, the window washers were there, and the landscapers, as well as the gas guys. All of them wondered why I hadn't run up Duval Street screaming and brandishing a kitchen knife.

Actually, good question. Stumps me, too.

Not so fast

"And we move in Tuesday," he said. Yeah, right.

It seems the inspector didn't file a final pool electrical confirmation, so the whole thing has to be done again. And the gas company didn't get their work inspected either (didn't know it had to be, but silly me).

So . . . I hightailed it to the building department with the electrical final, but Carolyn couldn't get the inspector on the phone, so she scheduled the regular electrical inspector, Terry, who's well known as a tough guy.

He came through the door, saw the signed permit, said he'd call in an approval, made an appointment for his gas inspection Wednesday morning -- and turned right around. So much for tough.

Carolyn, meanwhile, let me know she'd have the Certificate of Occupancy ready as soon as the results come in. Did I say yeah, right?

Connections

I did a Hail Mary call very late Friday hoping to piggyback on our pool guy's call for his final inspection -- so the house could get its final approval -- and earlier in the day had called Southern Bell (no, BellSouth; no, AT&T) to have them string a line to the house so they could plug it in on our existing number. . . .

And there was Gary early Monday, not exactly bright on a showery day but happy to get wet from either sweat or rain to get us on the network. He had us dial-toned within an hour.

As he left, a city truck pulled up, and an inspector came up our walkway. It was JC, who had last seen our project a full year ago, when the pool was freshly dug. He was here for our final inspection, but after several calls back to the Building Department -- talking with the head of the department, the clerk who handles inspections, and Diane from the Historic Commission -- he told me we lacked a contractor's call for the final pool inspection, on top of the bond with HARC for our windows, which he thunked his knuckles against to prove their substance.

I trotted to City Hall to provide the bond. Diane was there. Turns out she's a licenced inspector, besides being the city's architecture czarina, and she said she'd come by to get us cleared for everything except her windows.

True to her word, she was there within another hour. We passed everything, and she called in a report so we could have our Certificate of Occupancy by sometime Tuesday.

After she left, our having discussed the house, Ref, old timbers, new switches and the history of Key West, I stood in the living room and sang the Doxology.

And after "Praise God, from whom all blessings flow," I sat down and started to thank:

-- Ref, Shawn, Arnold, Dollie, Mr. B, Nathaniel, Gregory, Deco, Dave, Frank, Kurt, Li'l Shawn, Rhino, Charles and about two dozen other carpenters who have given what they have to our home.

-- Matt, Dennis, Steve and Charles, who made the electricity happen.

-- Ida, Carol, DeWitt (I still have to find out if he was born in our house, as he suspects) and Jorge, for the water.

-- Kenny, the sumbitch, for his conch-timed HVAC work.

-- Chris and his wizard crew (with Chip fired and rehired during the year of our project) for our pool.

-- Dan Ace, and Javier, for our beautiful roof.

-- Roy, an amazing painter and a truly honest man, and Darren and Joe, for our colors and textures.

-- Hank and Ray, who gave us bathrooms beyond belief.

-- Vendors like Dennis, Mark, Laurie, Thomas and all those clerks at Strunk and Home Depot, who never lacked a smile.

-- Too many neighbors, friends, passers-by, blog-readers, guest-house visitors and others who always provided a word of encouragement.

-- And always -- ever, always -- Robert, who coaxed every nickel out of every account we have to get the checks written that have made magic happen.

Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him among the heavenly host. Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.

And we move in Tuesday.

Good fences

The jatropha I mentioned the other day is the farthest right plant in the picture, and I'll forgive it for dripping tiny red blooms into the pool.

You can see the fishtail palms at the left, flanking the outdoor shower along that side of the house.

All weekend we watered the plants that the landscape guys put in -- and they're beautiful already.

The big help along this end of the pool, of course, is the green wall both our neighbors have created. There are big red hibiscus at the edge, and then the wall rises into palms, various tall shrubs and even a poinciana or two.

And as for the fence: I've become so attached to its pretty face that I'm sorry we're going to have so many plants in front of it.

Pineapple surprise

We've been doing things around the house all weekend -- washing towels, cleaning floors with all the stuff Jim and Charlie sent us, putting in sod for the swale (required by the city, so we're ready for Monday's inspection), putting on the pool safety cover (ditto), and on and on.

And late each afternoon I noticed a strobing pineapple on the stairwell wall by the upstairs guest bedroom.

Turns out that when the late-day sun hits a sill in the dining room just right, and the light bounces up through the dining room fan blades, and hits the pineapple cutouts along the loft railing. . . .

You can see it here, but it's even weirder to see it flashing as the blades turn.

Gnarly

Upstairs this morning, to help the safe guys deliver their extra-heavy package, I noticed the amazing texture in this wall edge Arnold put between the small air handler and the loft.

The light caught it just right -- but the intensity of the day caught me.

Before 10 a.m., we had the two safe guys, four landscapers, two window-washers, three audio guys, one pool inspector, three pool guys. . . .

I felt like Clem Lane, the legendary city editor of the Chicago Daily News, who described his job as "being nibbled to death by ducks."

But at least we passed the second of three pool inspections (No. 3 comes Monday, perhaps along with the general inspection), the pool fountain tile got finished, a few dozen plants got into the ground (including a lovely jatropha and some amazing fishtail palms), the TV sound got straightened out -- and I got exhausted.

Batting .750

It felt like the College Boards were coming this morning -- final inspections on the electrical permit, the mechanical permit (HVAC, mostly), the plumbing permit and the permit for the deduct meter, which gives us a break on water that won't enter the sewer system (pool, gardens).

Matt (who's never failed an inspection), Dennis and Charles arrived to button up a few things before the electrical guy got there -- and wouldn't you know it, I had two light cans out of their sockets and in hand when he arrived, switching out some wall-washers for eyeball lamps.

Denny had already mounted the bedroom roof to mount the last of the missing fixtures, a spotlight for the little fountain at the end of the pool.

I gasped when I saw him on the roof and was glad that Matt hadn't seen his son so precariously hanging on for a swan dive into the pool. But soon after, Matt was out ordering Dennis onto a ladder instead of the roof.

And my fears about the electrical and mechanical permits were for naught: flying colors, in this case green and pink.

Derwood, the plumbing inspector, came by and looked under sinks and into crannies, and all was well. He passed the house system just fine. Then came the deduct meter -- which, he noted, measured water volume in cubic feet rather than gallons. No go.

I called Mrs. Roberts, who I think came as close as possible for her to a curse: "Oh, my."

I'll have to see whether that can block a Certificate of Occupancy, which would let us actually move in to the place.

In the middle of it all, the insurance appraiser came by, to attach some hard dollars to the soft spots this house occupies.

Robert, who kept incredibly busy cleaning bathroom tile and bringing cabinets back to life, was beside himself: He wants to move in this weekend, but for that we need a Certificate of Occupancy and we still have pool inspections scheduled for Friday and Monday, to go, and then the final Big Inspection, with a Historic Commission component we know we'll flunk but have already agreed to post a bond for.

So this weekend isn't going to happen, and it was about as crushing for him as the Historic Commis- sion's rulings on windows have been for me.

So we went down Duval a bit to Crabby Dick's, had drinks and dinner, entertained by a very chatty maitre d' and a Brazilian waiter, and slouched to the apartment for yet another few nights before we get to sleep in a house that looks lived-in, but echoes empty because we're following the law.

Add plants, subtract trash

Mrs. Roberts, who runs the company doing our plumbing, called in her always-polite voice this morning to tell me she'd requested a city inspection tomorrow, carefully laying out for me the permits and documents I'd need to have on hand.

That was about the time Jon and his crew drove up in two big trucks with some other fixtures: one of three loads of plants from the growers near Homestead to make our house a home.

He'd spent a day up there last week tagging various greenery for us, and it was exciting to see the first raw materials for our gardens: ferns, aralias, buttonwoods, ixoras, plumbagos, palms and a huge bird of paradise or two. Now he and his guys spent several hours arraying it all along our rear deck and jammed behind the gate outside the den door, so it wouldn't wander off before it's in the ground.

Zachary, who works up the street at Duval House, was walking by: "Man, I love it," he said. "You're installing a jungle."

Three familiar creatures emerged from the foliage: Matt, the electrician; Paul, the audio guy; and Hank, our tile man. Matt was there to button up in preparation for his inspection, also Thursday; Paul, to bundle wires and cables; and Hank, to acid-wash our bathroom tile and install towel bars. I'd told him he was the only one I really trusted to drill the beautiful stuff he put in.

The dump people finally got there to haul off our third 10-yard container of scrap, cartons, crates, boxes, straps, excess packaging, rocks, sand, debris and other assorted wastes. We're still waiting on the truck to take away the construction toilet, which is past its prime in every possible way.

No revival